fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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