Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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