Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am naked and annoyed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize