I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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