I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize