if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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