my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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