Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize