he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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