Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I forget how to act sober
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