can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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