We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dear god my vagina.
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