Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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