he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize