I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize