I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize