Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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