it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize