While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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