it was like eating out sand paper
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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