either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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