Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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