he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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