I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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