matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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