Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize