i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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