She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
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I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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