meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize