I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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