I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize