im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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