i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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