Me too!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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