I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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