also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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