soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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