Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
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All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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