three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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