she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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