arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize