dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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