I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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