don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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