I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize