That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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