You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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