I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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