I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize