Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I could make wine with my vomit
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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